I Survived

Last night on the Biography Channel, I was watching "I Survived" which struck my attention because in the tag line it read "I Survived: Death and Back." I have always been somewhat interested in near death experiences especially after mine in 2005. I'm not sure if individuals who flat line are seeing glimpses of Heaven or what, but what was interesting was the bright light everyone saw during their time of medical death. One person in particular was a young woman who saw her life in the future; she visioned her husband, children, and grandchildren; she even felt how emotional she was to be seeing her grandchildren. None of these things happened yet, but I can't help but wonder if the guy she saw was actually going to be her husband, the kids she saw, were they actually going to be hers, and the grandchildren being her true grandchildren. I think she may have a very hard time being patient and will she know if the family in her vision when she meets her husband.



The reason I don't disclaim visions during near death experiences is one, who am I too say what they experienced and I have had something similar happen to me. I wish I could prove that near death experiences actually occur and I would like to believe they all involved Heaven; from what I watched last night they don't. Three individuals felt extreme peace and saw a bright light, perhaps it was Heaven, but one did not feel at piece and very much wanted to go back. Whatever these truths are, I'd like to find out more. If people do see Heaven is it only their perception?; is eveyone's Heaven or their own view of what they think? Who's ever to know the answer to these philosophical driven questions.

I for one can't say what I saw was Heaven during my adventure of suffering Respiratory Failure. In fact, I didn't see Heaven at all, at least I hope it wasn't Heaven but I indeed felt at peace. All I remember is being awake in this state of near death is me floating above me body and seeing a bright light; I don't know if it was the surgical light and the euphoria from the drugs or could it have been divine? There were these two figures beside my bed and the light radiated around them. I remember thinking to myself, "Man, this doesn't look good." I could here myself gurgling and the sound of what seemed like running water in this rather large Operating Room. The thing is, I was not in the OR when the doctors performed my tracheotomy, I was right there at my bedside in the ICU Unit. When I awoke, there was a small, bright surgical light atop of my bed. Was it the bright light I saw or a glimpse of something divine or could it have been the bright surgical light. Could the figures have been my doctors at my bedside glowing as the surgical light bounced off of them or were they some sort of angels watching over me? You draw your own opinion.

Despite some much unfamiliarity and several questions, I have drawn one conclusion that coincided with the program. Each of the individuals near death experiences including myself have had a very phenomenal, life changing, positive effect. One saw that life was precious and loves all of humanity now, another is looking forward to starting a family with children and grandchildren, still another is thankful that she was given a second chance. I too am grateful for the second chance, in my opinion it only could have been from a Divine nature. That experience has brought me to a much more spiritual place and prompted me to seek this all powerful, all knowing, loving yet disciplining God. What say you on this, what are your thought divine, fact or fiction?

Under the Radar

After applying for a Volunteer Chaplaincy position at Woodrow Wilson Rehabilitation Center, I get word three weeks later. The Chaplain calls me and says, "you were approved three weeks already, where are you?! Well, talk about a miscommunication on the parts of my bureaucratic buddies lol. Anyway, knowing that I was expected to be there much earlier, Robin and I jumped in the mini and headed over to report for duty.

Once we got there, I drove my massive wheelchair all jacked up with my vent, suction bag (never leave home without it), a D Tank of 02, and of course my handy dandy little pulse oximeter down the well lit newly renovated hallway of the Medical Rehab Services building. Behind this massive overly dramatic nurse's station were what seemed like tiny little people in comparison to the huge cabinet like structure. I think they were equally confused about who I was and what my business was. So, feeling a bit awkward I said, "Hey guys, I'm your new Chaplain." In typical WWRC fashion everyone was clueless do to the fact that my supervisor failed to mention me to anyone. It seems I had flown in under the the radar ; I had no place to work like an office, no lamp, and no computer, quite a welcome wouldn't you say? I receive a phone call this afternoon that sets me back to were I started. It seams the are in the midst of reimplementing the volunteer program at the Medical Unit; I can only hope it doesn't take them several months to accomplish. It seems so simple to me but anything dealing with government is pain strikingly slow.

Fear

Over the past two weeks or so, the atmosphere has had an erie, captivating feel. We are certainly not anywhere in unity as a country over this new health care proposal by President Obama. This fear that has gripped our nation concerns me more than the overhauling of our much corrupted health care. I'm not going to even prentend I have a clue as to what is going on and I admit our health care needs some much needed help. Here's the thing, something has got to change in order for things to get better and I think obiviously it's going to take a lot of time, money, and courage as we change for the better.

We must be aware of what our government and keep it in check. In no way do I agree with some of the policies that I see in place by December but, we conservatives especially need to get a grip. It is hard for me to say this because I consider myself a very conservative person and those who know me would agree. We have to stop letting fear get in our minds and put ridiculous notions there. I don't think the government is going to erraticate seniors and disabled individuals nor do I think euthanasia is going take place anytime soon. Lets keep in mind that the Constitution protects us from such things with the Rehabilitation Act of 76 and the Americans With Disabilities Act. I was reminded by a brother last night the we the people are still in control and the government must do as we say. I also believe we still have a voice; now do we have the courage to speak out.

As for my Christian brothers and sisters out there, I am down right disqusted with "Fearful Children of God." Your very concerns and fears shed a very bad example for the whole world. We have been saved, sanctified, and delivered by Jesus Christ and we have nothing to fear, nothing! Look at how we have become so untrusting to God the Father; have we completely turned our backs on He whom loved us so? We are no betther than those who physically crucified Jesus, our Savior. If we are for Christ, then who shall we fear? What's impossible with God?

Attached!

Here I sit at my computer typing away while my external vent battery charges from yet a blown fuse. Blown fuses occur at the most inopportune times because the battery does not charge as a result of the blown fuse. I don't know why but our power flickers very often in our neighborhood and each time it does blown fuse. We have tried to increase the amperage from 8 -10 and it seemed to help for a little while. I'm surprised that these boxes with fuses even exist with the technical advances over the years. Looks like they would have gone to using breaker systems. Anyway, I'll be off and running in about two years lol hours. As if I have something better to do; I guess Tom Petty was right; "The waiting is the hardest part."

I also had a nurse come and orient to provide me with some much needed weekend care that hasn't occurred in a year, wow, an entire year which is crazy; They say that there is a nursing shortage which is just an excuse for saying they get what they want otherwise refuse the case. Nurses have the agency by there you know whats, the agencies ultimately work for the nurses. I think it's a lack of compassion that is the biggest hurdle for the patient. Nurses I have observed say when they'll work, how they work, and where to work. Another thing that drives me crazy about agency is when they call and say'"So and so has been a RN for 18 years, worked in ICU, and is familiar with trachs and vents." I say that stuff is all rubbish and means nothing to me. Not one of thee nurses have worked out for me; I'm mean we are all different and have different needs and hello all vents are not the same. Besides, who deals with vents in hospital? that's right! Respiratory Therapist. So pity the nurse right? I say there is no excuse for incompetent nurses and I refuse to risk my health dealing with uneducated nurses. If you are a nurse who wants to go home health I say go for it, but please do some research before attempting a vent case.

As I sit here with my thoughts, I would like to say something about this Health Care Recovery Plan or "Destruction" if Obama has anything to do with it. First, the health care in our country is in need of reform but not complete overhaul; some things do work. Our health care debt is the result of greed and mismanaging of money that benefits pharmaceuticals, Doctors, and even Government officials. I mean the CEO of a hospital makes at least $100,000 and do we really want to know what the pharmaceuticals make? Does Obama actually believe private insurance is going to carry us who have preexisting illnesses such as DMD or MS? Even if they did, how are we who are on SSI and Disability going to afford to "buy in." We already have a Medicaid buy in program, but I don't even come close to being able to financially buy in. Also, remember the Government will be a key player in the "Socialistic" health care proposal rather they admit it or not. I have experienced and still am on Government provided health care which I am greteful for but there is an incredible amount of policy, paperwork, and rejections of what they "deem," necessary. Maybe if we were not so focused on building our hospitals to look like museums, we may be able to afford health care for all of us.